Sunday, November 21, 2010

Headline Hijinks

I cannot take credit for any of these – both the headlines and the snarky commentary came to me in one of those oft-forwarded e-mails circulating on the Web.  But since they fit the theme of this blog, I decided to share.  If you can identify any of the original sources, let me know and I'll make the appropriate credit.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
The person who found this one notes, "I called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day."

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [Ya think?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far.]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's.]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial.]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect.]

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [Really?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought?]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something.]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Do they taste like chicken?]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [Did I read that right?]

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