Sunday, May 20, 2012

Dangerous Times

You know the times are changing for the worse when inanimate objects start attacking humans.

Here’s a recent headline from a news station’s web site:

Man Attacked By Hammer In Springs

At first glance, it seems that this hand tool just jumped right up and attacked someone! The opening line of the story, though, clarifies the situation:

A man was allegedly attacked with a hammer on Thursday afternoon in a Springs neighborhood.

See the difference one little preposition can make?

But the attacks don’t stop there. Here’s a line from a story on the very same web site where the hammer story appeared:

(Police) found a man had been shot in the chest by a handgun.

Another inanimate object gone mad!

Oh – wait. Two competing news stations have a slightly different version of events:

(Police) found the victim with a single…gunshot wound.

A shooting…left one man in the hospital with a gunshot wound to the torso.

Even though these two reports don't specifically state that humans wielded the weapons, at least they didn't imply that the gun by itself was responsible.

And that's probably as good as it's going to get in local news...

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